badkidsjokes:

there was two fish in a tank and one of the fish said
do you know how to drive this thing
BECAUSE THE FISH ARE DRIVEING THE TANK IN A WAR

maliciousmelons:

if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

thegiggles:

hungarian:

what will happen when i’m 40 & still find 18 yr old guys really hot

you replace the term hot with the phrase ‘what a handsome young man’ and it’s suddenly socially acceptable

cassjaytuck:

one time my school hosted a laser tag tournament and so me and my friends went and we were owning the place until we realized one of our friends was missing. we found him building a baracade out of benches and plants at the top of the stairwell and whenever anyone approached he’d shoot at them and yell “DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING???”